Blog (Articles)

I have just returned from a national business valuation conference that was held in San Diego and I am happy to report that Collaborative Divorce is really starting to catch on with other professional groups.  Out of 4 days of seminars, Collaborative Divorce was discussed/mentioned on a daily basis.  It is great to see other professions beginning to take notice and appreciate the service that we can provide in the Collaborative setting. 

Judge Walker asked me yesterday (4/13) for help. The four family law judges in ABQ want us minimize the additional time that our collaborative cases add to their average case time.

They understand the idea behind a newly developing practice in our CP cases of filing a Petition together with a Stay to protect our clients in the event of death or disability.  However the judges want additional language included.

Specifically, they want (1) the Stay/Order to indicate that the case remains pending, (2) that it is closed administratively, and (3) should the case need to proceed in litigation, that the case would be re-opened administratively without the need for an additional filing fee.

Otherwise, there would be no impact on those cases that reach a conclusion within the CP context and where we submit the Final Decree, MSA & PP for their review, signature and filing.  

A newly formed Judicial Liaison Committee will address this further to with the judges to develop a form of Order that works for everyone.  Perhaps the judges in SF have a similar concern?

Patricia Rudy-Baese, a financial specialist in Santa Fe, forwarded two part article written by Allen Ross Frisher, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) in Florida.

The Northern New Mexico Collaborative Divorce Alliance (NNMCDA) is a multi-discciplinary practice group and we have completed our protocols of practice after many months of work by the group.

Our group is glad to share our work with the New Mexico collaborative community, as so many other collaborative groups shared their work with us.

The protocols cover attorneys, financial specialists, family relationship specialists and child specilaists in a collaborative case. Although there are sections specifically covering financial specialists, family relatiomship specialists, and child specialists, there are provisions throughout the more general sections which apply to these praactitioners as well, and all sections address the practice of collaborative attorneys.

Active members of NMCPG may see and download the protocols by clicking on the following link: Northern New Mexico Collaborative Divorce Alliance Protocols

Active NMCPG members may participate in a discussion of the protocols by clicking on the following link:  Discussion of NNMCDA Protocols

Your comments are welcome . . .

The MHP Protocols of Practice from the Albuquerque Practice Group have been uploaded to this website. They are available to all current members of NMCPG. You can access and download them by clicking on the "Members-only" link on the main menu of this website, then clicking on "Collaborative Practice Protocols Examples" (Members-only > Collaborative Practice Protocols).

NMCPG members can participate in a discussion of the protocols by navigating to the Protocols Discussion Forum (click on "Members-only" > "Forums" > "Collaborative Practice Protocols Discussion"), or by clicking on the link below.

Collaborative Practice Protocols Discussion

NMCPG has had two versions of their website in the past. This is Version 3.0. There is great hope that this site will create a greater amount of interaction between all the members, as well as with the genneral public.

The new NMCPG 3.0 website has the following communication tools:

• email "Blast" management (selective groups, entire list, etc.)
• Blog Posting (articles of interest that can be commented on)
• Forums (discussion groups, more ad hoc then a blog)

It also has an Event Calendar that is easily updated. It and can be setup to notify members whenever a change is made.

Membership profiles can be changed by easily changed by members.

Membership enrollment can be tracked and reminders sent out for renewals.

Examining Beliefs, Conclusions, and Assumptions

All the beliefs, conclusions, and assumptions that we have create our mental models of the world.

Our mental models are useful, but they can get in the way of seeing situations and people as they are in the here and now.

A person that we have a history with may be willing and able to act differently in the new situation, but we will respond to them as if nothing has changed.  This is because neuro-pathways in our brain have been so repeatedly used that it is as if metaphorically there is a “deep trench” that has been worn into our brain (this is what being in a “rut” is all about.)

We live in a world of self-generating Beliefs which remain largely unexamined and untested.

We then “take Actions based on our Beliefs” (see drawing below).

Our ability to achieve our desired outcomes in any situation is eroded by thinking that . . .

·         Our “Beliefs” are the Truth.

·         The “Truth” is obvious.

·         Our “Beliefs” are based on real data.

·         The data we select are the real data.

Chris Argyris, a noted author and organizational development consultant, has used the metaphor of a ladder to describe the common mental pathway that often leads to misguided beliefs (see drawing below).  These misguided beliefs lead to feelings and actions that keep us from getting the positive outcomes that we desire.

We start at the bottom of the ladder with “neutral” observable data and experiences but then as we progress up the ladder we’ll select data based on “beliefs” that we’ve adopted (see “The reflexive loop”), we then add meanings, and make assumptions based on the meanings we’ve added, from those assumptions we draw conclusions, which are used to adopt or reinforce already held beliefs.  We then have feelings and act on those beliefs.

There is a benefit to operating this way in the world. We can do many things that we might not otherwise be able to do (e.g. drive cars in highly congested streets and highways at high speeds) because this model allows us to go on “automatic pilot”.  However, at other times (especially when confronting a new situation) if we stay on this ladder we might end up in the “same old place” doing the same things, engaging in the same patterns of feelings and behavior, staying in a “rut”. 

Examining how we select data, add meaning, make assumptions, and draw the conclusions which lead to our beliefs is an important way of managing our emotions, behaviors, and reaching our desired outcomes.

To see and/or download this article click on the following link . . .

Examining Beliefs (3).pdf

 

Please leave you comments on the ideas in this article. That's how you can participate in the Collaborative Practice conversation.

 Adapted from:

“The Fifth Discipline Fieldbook:Strategies and Tools for Building a Learning Organization”,

Peter Senge, et al

 

For More Information Call:

Max August

505-690-6619

08/09 Ver.  3